Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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