I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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