Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
