so that wasnt chicken after all
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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