so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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