My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
