His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize