no, he came in my armpit
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm passing your future prison.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
