3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
one two three fourrrrnication!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
