Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
