I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
