A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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