I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
