yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
