Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
