it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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