were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize