ya dads aren't the best wingmen
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
