It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
