I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
