so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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