FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
