I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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