The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
