Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
