i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
