you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Randomize
