he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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