I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize