you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
