I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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