I wanna bring you to show and tell
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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