i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
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And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
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I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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