I hate all girls vehemently.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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