So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
