i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
