haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"