I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?