Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

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  (310): its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off http://tfl.nu/w0tm
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us

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  (828): Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us http://tfl.nu/ml7j
  Replies (3) Good night (2648) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy

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  (419): your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy http://tfl.nu/gzdd
  Replies (15) Good night (1154) Bad night (2395) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.

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  (207): no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod. http://tfl.nu/vf6z
  Replies (29) Good night (1320) Bad night (8215) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He violated my cat. I was not impressed.

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  (207): He violated my cat. I was not impressed. http://tfl.nu/2ip6
  Replies (22) Good night (817) Bad night (5639) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.

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  (248): he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question. http://tfl.nu/v6vq
  Replies (11) Good night (876) Bad night (4454) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it

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  (301): I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it http://tfl.nu/ek0f
  Replies (7) Good night (3226) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.

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  (404): All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time. http://tfl.nu/nzqv
  Replies (6) Good night (2764) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.

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  (818): The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again. http://tfl.nu/z8ef
  Replies (11) Good night (4318) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.

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  (949): My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship. http://tfl.nu/pxfl
  Replies (11) Good night (3102) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.

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  (818): I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/bcax
  Replies (8) Good night (2650) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult

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  (972): Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult http://tfl.nu/j3hz
  Replies (5) Good night (1140) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo

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  (248): I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo http://tfl.nu/bfzl
  Replies (4) Good night (850) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  do u know what happened to the bottles last night?

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone

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  (250): do u know what happened to the bottles last night? (1-250): apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone http://tfl.nu/opnd
  Replies (4) Good night (1290) Bad night (224) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.

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  (314): You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad (224): I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick. http://tfl.nu/vatm
  Replies (0) Good night (3) Bad night (22)

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