my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...