What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
