Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
