Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
