This is not my ceiling
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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