goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize