making cat noises will not fix the situation.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize