At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
