i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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