Dual....:-)
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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