just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I want her autograph on my taint
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
