it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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