Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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