Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
