sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
did you just send me my own nude
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
