I skipped work to stalk him.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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