They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
