2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize