Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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